There is no better indicator that I need a life than the fact that my evenings now rotate around what’s happening on Bravo. It all started out innocently enough, with a once a week splurge with Kathy Griffin. Every Thursday night, I’d snuggle up with Kathy and watch as she chases around the gays, her dogs, and photo opportunities across Los Angeles. Then July was upon us, and the final season of Project Runway began. Since it is the last season that will be airing on this illustrious network, I concluded I had to tune in for the dresses made out of plastic bags and the predictable catty drama that would ensue. This season lacks a nymphish androgynous standout shouting “hot tranny mess,” but it does have a character named Suede who refers to himself in the third person and Stella, who just might be the hottest mess I’ve ever seen on cable
Stella specializes in leather, but in this episode she does her best to make a punk-rock outfit out of Hefty bags. Get familiar with Stella here:
I love how delicate and hip all of the other contestants are, and then Stella comes in looking like she woke up 15 minutes ago in Astoria, got on the N train, and barely had time to tie her thigh high leather leggings. She had me sold when she mentioned her aesthetic was “cheap and chic.” She won’t last long, but each week I pray they’ll extend her stay.
The program that really tipped me over the edge into full-blown Bravo addiction does not follow the predictable pattern of eliminations like Project Runway and so many of its spinoffs. Flipping Out is like a gay trading spaces on a triple espresso, minus the perky hosts and Midwestern locales. The new Bravo series, in its second season, follows Jeff Lewis as he finds old homes and “flips” them into beautiful luxury pads to turn a profit. If this were simply a sweet home show with lots of do it yourself tips, I would probably be channel surfing. Lewis, however, manages to make hedge fund investors look tame and Anna Wintour look like boss of the year, as he spits orders at his assistants, who are usually in the middle of messing up his big plans. Kathy Griffin manages to handle three pretty much incompetent assistants on her show with one-liners and some requisite passive aggression, but Jeff goes for the jugular every chance that he gets. Watch him here, as he derides his staff and 50 Cent:
His only love is his cat, which appears to be just as feisty as he is.
He gave one of is cherished assistants the job of taking his ornery kitten to the vet for acupuncture. What keeps me coming back to Jeff and his staff of miscreants isn’t their weekly, predictable struggle, but Jeff’s nutty combination of New York businessman and new age California beach boy. In the same breath, Jeff will shout at a contractor to increase productivity on the site and call a psychic to cleanse the home he’s selling of bad spirits. In earnest, Jeff watches this psychic perform an exorcism on his property. His contradicting level-head and reverence for the un-dead make him one of the most bizarre characters on television. I wonder, for example, how someone so in touch with the other side, would find it impossible to hug an assistant during a divorce or give her a day off after she steps on a gigantic nail. The only conclusion I’ve reached so far is that Jeff is, in fact, the devil. Now that explains why I can’t stop watching his network.
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